My father’s second wife Lucy learned to make “gravy” from her mother who came to the US from Italy. She taught my dad (a fine cook himself) who made it with some regularity. They passed the recipe and techniques on to my brother, Ron, who cooks up a few gallons whenever a crowd gathers at his house. The key to the sauce is lots of meat (Italian sausage, a bit of steak, pork chops and meatballs; add a couple of pieces of chicken if you like)and Parmesan/Romano cheese. He puts 8 or 9 pounds of meat into about 6 quarts of sauce (he ends up with about 3 gallons of sauce).
He starts by browning hot and mild Italian sausage in olive oil seasoned with oregano, garlic, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper and a bit of red pepper flakes.
Then he adds the diced steak.
Canned tomatoes are passed through a chinois and, along with tomato paste, tomato sauce, are added to the pot. More seasoning is added at this time along with a good sprinkle of Parmesan/Romano cheese. While this mixture simmers, he makes the star of the show, the meat balls. Ground beef (20%/80%) is kneaded along with bread crumbs, eggs, more seasoning, and more cheese.
Then golf ball sized nuggets are formed and added to the sauce. The size is important for flavor. They are added to the sauce and the pot is simmered for several hours and stirred frequently. (Start to finish consumes about four hours).
About 30 minutes before serving, Ron cuts a couple of pounds of pork chops in half and adds them to the pot.
The meat balls are served in a bowl all to themselves, the rest of the meat in another. The sauce is ladled over spaghetti and the feast begins.